2 de junho de 2004

Anedotas de Jazz sobre trompetistas (4)

Pois é, ainda não tínhamos ido ter com os nossos amigos dos sopros!

Aqui ficam algumas anedotas com maior ou menor graça...


What are trumpets made out of?
Leftover saxophone parts.

How many trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.

A replacement trumpet player was rehearsing for the first time with a big band famous for playing unusual and complex arrangements. On looking over the charts he saw that all the pieces were in uncommon time signatures such as 7/4 and 11/8. Turning to the trumpeter next to him he asked: 'Hey man, what are these? Hat sizes?'
'Man,' replied the other, 'Tell me about it! The only time this band plays in 4/4 is when we play 'Take Five'!'

How do trumpet players traditionally greet eachother?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."

A jazz trumpet player working as a substitute in a classical orchestra had a 32 bar rest. On the 33rd bar he failed to come in which caused the conductor to stop the rehearsal. 'Why didn't you play?' asked the conductor'
'It says here in the part that I've got to take a 32 bar rest,' replied the trumpeter.
'I know that, but we were at bar 33 and there you must play. You have to count.'
'Man, that's not fair.' complained the jazz musician. 'If I have to count what kind of a rest is that?'

How do you get a trumpet player to play fff? Write mp on the part.

How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: one to handle the bulb and four to tell them how they could do It better (but only in the practice room)!

A trumpet player goes through customs where is stopped by a suspicious customs officer.
Customs officer: Excuse me sir. Is that a musical instrument.
Trumpeter: Sometimes.

How many jazz trumpeters does it take to change a light bulb?
Never mind- they can fake the changes.

A very well known arranger was rehearsing a big band assembled to play arrangements of the "Canadiana Suite" by Oscar Peterson. At some point plunger mutes were required and all the trumpet players but one got them out.
The arranger asked: "Hey man the part says plunger mute, where's your mute?"
The trumpet player replies: "I don't have one."
Arranger: " I can't believe that! How can you not have a plunger?"
Player: "Well I don't have one!"
Arranger: "Listen what the hell do you do at home when your sink or your toilet get blocked up?"
Player: "I use a harmon".

How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?
Take away his instrument.

Why can't a gorilla play the trumpet?
He's too sensitive.

How can you tell a trumpet player's kids at a playground?
They don't know how to swing.

4 trumpet players are in a mini van. The mini van goes off a cliff. What's the tragedy in this? You can fit 8 trumpet players in a mini van.

A lead trumpet player and his neighbour are talking about the value of their respective houses.
Trumpeter: I've just had my house valued at $250.000.
Neighbour: How is that possible. My house is exactly the same as yours and was recently valued at $100.000.
Trumpeter: Yeah, but I don't have a trumpet player living next door.

How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Zero. They just complain about the darkness until a trombone player does it for them.

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